## App-centric Openers

_1. I know that everyone talks about this on dating apps, but if loving “The Office" is wrong, then I don’t want to be Dwight._

_2. So, come here often?_

_3. You know, I've been waiting for you to message me, but I guess I'll take one for the team._

_4. Do you believe in love at first swipe, or should we unmatch and then match again?_

_5. Obviously, we'd meet on an app — because you're a total snack._

_6. Does swiping through this dating app count as "exercise"?_

_7. Do you need me to call the fire department? I bet your phone is full of matches._

_8. Who's the person in your first photo? My grandmother was asking._

_9. That dog looks so cute, can you give them my number?_

_10. We can say we met on Spotify because you're the hottest new single._

_11. Glad we matched when we did, my thumb was getting tired!_

_12. Two wrongs don't make right, but two rights make a perfect match._

_13. Some people think with their hearts, some with their heads, but I'm glad we both think with our thumbs._

_14. Hmm, I think your first message to me must have gotten lost in cyberspace... It's OK. I'll send you one._

_15. If you had to describe my profile in three words, what would you choose? And why would they be iconic, perfect, and flawless?_

## Silly Ice Breakers

_16. Why do bartenders use blenders? To break the ice._

_17. Going to Trader Joe’s, do you need anything?_

_18. Are you more afraid of spiders or saying, “You too!” when a server says, “Enjoy!”?_

_19. So, do you have any good pickup lines?_

_20. People always say they want to be the person their pet thinks they are, but my pet knows that all I do is watch bad TV in my pajamas and eat cereal for every meal._

_21. My mom just asked me what “WAP” meant… any advice on how to navigate that conversation?_

_22. Using only emojis, can you explain to me your first time paying taxes?_

_23. What’s your least favorite pasta shape?_

_24. If your mom were a shoe, what kind of shoe would she be?_

_25. If Napoleon Dynamite and Joe Exotic started a band, what would it be called? Liger King._

_26. What kind of kitchen appliance are you? Don't say blender. Everybody says blender._

_27. Should I start this conversation with a bad pickup line or by just saying hello?_

_28. Do you also still think about all the embarrassing things you said in middle school, or are you a well-adjusted adult?_

_29. Big. Gigantic. Enormous. Huge... I never liked small talk._

_30. If you wrote a memoir, what would the title be? Mine would be "Overthinking Opening Messages."_

## Punny Pickups

_31. Where did the f*ckboy go to college? U Up._

_32. I don't want to flood your inbox, but dam — you look good._

_33. I don't like dried fruits, but I’d meet you for a date._

_34. I’d love to grab margs sometime and taco ‘bout our feelings._

_35. Are you a library book? Because I’d like to check you out._

_36. Are you a barista? Because I like you a latte._

_37. So hoppy you matched me back, I couldn't wheat to talk to you._

_38. Hopefully, this app will lead to a great meal._

_39. What do you call a row of trucks? A pickup line._

_40. Are you familiar with the work of Claude Monet? Because you make quite the impression._

_41. I'm trying to think of a Postmates pickup line, but I need some help with the delivery._

_42. They must call you Earl Grey because you're such a hot tea._

_43. I know it's cheesy, but matching with you is too Gouda to be true._

_44. Trying to think of a fruit or vegetable joke, but I can't produce much under pressure._

_45. Water you doing later? Want to get drinks?_

## Straight Forward

_46. I think you're super cute and funny. That's it. That's the tweet._

_47. "Broad City"! (I've been thinking of something funny to say for an hour.)_

_48. Hooking up is cool, but have you ever matched with someone on a dating app and had them send a really good first message?_

_49. I always remember my reusable bags at the supermarket, which has to merit a response._

_50. What's a nice person like you doing in a place like this?_

_51. Let's cut to the chase, do you share food on a first date?_

_52. You didn't 'Super Like' me, but it's OK, I'll take your number as an apology._

_53. I'm not great at starting conversations, do you want to try?_

_54. How about I start this conversation, and you can start the next one?_

_55. Is our anniversary when we first matched or when we first messaged?_

_56. Aww, you're so considerate to let me start this conversation._

_57. What's down? (It's the cooler cousin of "What's up?" )_

_58. How are we doing tonight? Have you dined with us before? Let me know if you have any questions about the menu._

_59. Gosh! Stop messaging me! You're blowing up my inbox!_

_60. Do you normally go for people that are super good looking or super funny? Don't worry. I'm both._

## Get The Ball Rolling

_61. Not to be salty, but I bet a pitcher I know a better margarita place than you._

_62. Wanna sit next to me in silence as we both pretend to work but really look at memes?_

_63. Quick! Settle a bet, are you someone that’s going to match with me on this app but never actually message me?_

_64. Want to try to explain the rules of football to me? I’ll buy drinks._

_65. If I give you my number, will you text me to remind me to drink water during the day?_

_66. I don’t need your astrology sign, but I do want to know what your late-night GrubHub order is._

_67. Be honest, did your ex take any of the photos in your profile?_

_68. What’s the worst opening line you’ve even got on a dating app? (It can’t be this one.)_

_69. I’d ask where should I tell my mom we met, but I don’t think dating apps deserve the stigma, and I think it’s imperative to be honest about them, even to boomers._

_70. Basmati or long-grain? (Yes, I got that from_ Love Island_.)_

_71. What should I make for dinner? Keep in mind I have no groceries and I can’t cook._

_72. How do you feel about cuffed pants? May or may not inform my outfit on our first date._

_73. Who’s your celebrity crush, and why is it Rhianna?_

_74. Just want to point out, if you want to message me first, you still can._

_75. Would you rather always be a little bit damp or a little bit sticky?_