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Personal/Projects/Dating/Opening lines.md

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+## App-centric Openers
+
+_1. I know that everyone talks about this on dating apps, but if loving “The Office" is wrong, then I don’t want to be Dwight._
+
+_2. So, come here often?_
+
+_3. You know, I've been waiting for you to message me, but I guess I'll take one for the team._
+
+_4. Do you believe in love at first swipe, or should we unmatch and then match again?_
+
+_5. Obviously, we'd meet on an app — because you're a total snack._
+
+_6. Does swiping through this dating app count as "exercise"?_
+
+_7. Do you need me to call the fire department? I bet your phone is full of matches._
+
+_8. Who's the person in your first photo? My grandmother was asking._
+
+_9. That dog looks so cute, can you give them my number?_
+
+_10. We can say we met on Spotify because you're the hottest new single._
+
+_11. Glad we matched when we did, my thumb was getting tired!_
+
+_12. Two wrongs don't make right, but two rights make a perfect match._
+
+_13. Some people think with their hearts, some with their heads, but I'm glad we both think with our thumbs._
+
+_14. Hmm, I think your first message to me must have gotten lost in cyberspace... It's OK. I'll send you one._
+
+_15. If you had to describe my profile in three words, what would you choose? And why would they be iconic, perfect, and flawless?_
+
+## Silly Ice Breakers
+
+_16. Why do bartenders use blenders? To break the ice._
+
+_17. Going to Trader Joe’s, do you need anything?_
+
+_18. Are you more afraid of spiders or saying, “You too!” when a server says, “Enjoy!”?_
+
+_19. So, do you have any good pickup lines?_
+
+_20. People always say they want to be the person their pet thinks they are, but my pet knows that all I do is watch bad TV in my pajamas and eat cereal for every meal._
+
+_21. My mom just asked me what “WAP” meant… any advice on how to navigate that conversation?_
+
+_22. Using only emojis, can you explain to me your first time paying taxes?_
+
+_23. What’s your least favorite pasta shape?_
+
+_24. If your mom were a shoe, what kind of shoe would she be?_
+
+_25. If Napoleon Dynamite and Joe Exotic started a band, what would it be called? Liger King._
+
+_26. What kind of kitchen appliance are you? Don't say blender. Everybody says blender._
+
+_27. Should I start this conversation with a bad pickup line or by just saying hello?_
+
+_28. Do you also still think about all the embarrassing things you said in middle school, or are you a well-adjusted adult?_
+
+_29. Big. Gigantic. Enormous. Huge... I never liked small talk._
+
+_30. If you wrote a memoir, what would the title be? Mine would be "Overthinking Opening Messages."_
+
+## Punny Pickups
+
+_31. Where did the f*ckboy go to college? U Up._
+
+_32. I don't want to flood your inbox, but dam — you look good._
+
+_33. I don't like dried fruits, but I’d meet you for a date._
+
+_34. I’d love to grab margs sometime and taco ‘bout our feelings._
+
+_35. Are you a library book? Because I’d like to check you out._
+
+_36. Are you a barista? Because I like you a latte._
+
+_37. So hoppy you matched me back, I couldn't wheat to talk to you._
+
+_38. Hopefully, this app will lead to a great meal._
+
+_39. What do you call a row of trucks? A pickup line._
+
+_40. Are you familiar with the work of Claude Monet? Because you make quite the impression._
+
+_41. I'm trying to think of a Postmates pickup line, but I need some help with the delivery._
+
+_42. They must call you Earl Grey because you're such a hot tea._
+
+_43. I know it's cheesy, but matching with you is too Gouda to be true._
+
+_44. Trying to think of a fruit or vegetable joke, but I can't produce much under pressure._
+
+_45. Water you doing later? Want to get drinks?_
+
+## Straight Forward
+
+_46. I think you're super cute and funny. That's it. That's the tweet._
+
+_47. "Broad City"! (I've been thinking of something funny to say for an hour.)_
+
+_48. Hooking up is cool, but have you ever matched with someone on a dating app and had them send a really good first message?_
+
+_49. I always remember my reusable bags at the supermarket, which has to merit a response._
+
+_50. What's a nice person like you doing in a place like this?_
+
+_51. Let's cut to the chase, do you share food on a first date?_
+
+_52. You didn't 'Super Like' me, but it's OK, I'll take your number as an apology._
+
+_53. I'm not great at starting conversations, do you want to try?_
+
+_54. How about I start this conversation, and you can start the next one?_
+
+_55. Is our anniversary when we first matched or when we first messaged?_
+
+_56. Aww, you're so considerate to let me start this conversation._
+
+_57. What's down? (It's the cooler cousin of "What's up?" )_
+
+_58. How are we doing tonight? Have you dined with us before? Let me know if you have any questions about the menu._
+
+_59. Gosh! Stop messaging me! You're blowing up my inbox!_
+
+_60. Do you normally go for people that are super good looking or super funny? Don't worry. I'm both._
+
+## Get The Ball Rolling
+
+_61. Not to be salty, but I bet a pitcher I know a better margarita place than you._
+
+_62. Wanna sit next to me in silence as we both pretend to work but really look at memes?_
+
+_63. Quick! Settle a bet, are you someone that’s going to match with me on this app but never actually message me?_
+
+_64. Want to try to explain the rules of football to me? I’ll buy drinks._
+
+_65. If I give you my number, will you text me to remind me to drink water during the day?_
+
+_66. I don’t need your astrology sign, but I do want to know what your late-night GrubHub order is._
+
+_67. Be honest, did your ex take any of the photos in your profile?_
+
+_68. What’s the worst opening line you’ve even got on a dating app? (It can’t be this one.)_
+
+_69. I’d ask where should I tell my mom we met, but I don’t think dating apps deserve the stigma, and I think it’s imperative to be honest about them, even to boomers._
+
+_70. Basmati or long-grain? (Yes, I got that from_ Love Island_.)_
+
+_71. What should I make for dinner? Keep in mind I have no groceries and I can’t cook._
+
+_72. How do you feel about cuffed pants? May or may not inform my outfit on our first date._
+
+_73. Who’s your celebrity crush, and why is it Rhianna?_
+
+_74. Just want to point out, if you want to message me first, you still can._
+
+_75. Would you rather always be a little bit damp or a little bit sticky?_